Mike Brock, PsyD, LPC

Counseling and Life Coaching for Adults, Individual and Couples

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September 26, 2017 by Rich Malloy

Been Mindfully Meditating Lately? I Didn’t Think So.

Let’s talk about mindfulness meditation.

Wait! Don’t stop reading now! I promise this will be easy! Even light. Light and easy, that’s my mindfulness meditation mantra for the day.

So, when you hear the words ‘mindfulness meditation,’ which response comes immediately to mind?

[ ]  Mindfulness meditation? Never heard of it. Is that some woo-woo New Agey thing?
[ ]  Mindfulness meditation? Of course! I spend an hour every morning and another hour every evening sitting on my satin cushion, which I bought from a yogi in Sedona. In between, I do Tai Chi.
[ ]  Um . . . Well, ya’ know, it’s sorta like, well . . . OK, I’ll admit it. I keep promising myself to start doing it but haven’t gotten into the habit yet. Tomorrow.
[ ]  Look, I do what I can, OK?!? Gimme a break, already. You can take your mindfulness meditation and . . .

OK, let’s get serious. First, a definition from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Mindfulness meditation means paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experiences moment by moment.” Three points: 1. Mindfulness meditation is good for you. We have the research to prove it. Check out, as just one example, the work of Daniel Siegel (drdansiegel.com), a pioneer in mind studies. 2. As the definition would suggest, it’s a bit intimidating and not the easiest thing to get into (although, like everything, it gets easier with practice). And, 3. There are a variety of ways to accomplish the peace of mind, the “working through,” the spiritual integration that comes through mindfulness meditation, alternative ways that work better for many of us (including me).

As noted, mindfulness meditation can be challenging. So, let’s look at a different approach, one that is not strictly mindfulness meditation but is likewise immensely healing. It is a practice that I often teach my counseling clients and attendees at my workshops and retreats, one that serves well—very well, actually, as I can personally attest—as a substitute for formal mindfulness meditation. It is inspired by something I read a dozen years ago in a book titled The Mindful Way through Depression. (Did I mention this is great for depression? I sneaked that in on you, didn’t I?) Trust me on this; it is healing. And it only takes a few minutes—but it can be extended for as long as you like.

Here are the steps:

  1. Find a comfortable spot to sit, and allow your body to relax.
  2. Turn your focus to your breathing. Notice the inhaling and the exhaling.
  3. Gradually, slowly, extend your inhaling, five to seven seconds or so. Breathe deeply. Breathe slowly. Also, gradually and slowly increase the length of time and the forcefulness of your exhaling. The exhaling is the stress reduction part of the breathing cycle, so give more energy to that part, extending it a bit longer. (Did I mention this reduces stress? And anxiety?) Do this for as long as you wish.
  4. Now, identify something going on in your life that is causing you some difficulty, pain, dis-ease. A problem you are struggling with. A situation that just won’t go away. A heaviness that resists all efforts to lighten. Just bring it to consciousness and speak it to yourself.
  5. What you just identified is a thought. Now we want to identify a corresponding feeling, specifically a feeling word (one word is all we need here), a feeling that comes to you when you get in touch with what you identified above. Speak the feeling word to yourself. Identifying and naming your thoughts and feelings is therapeutic: “If you name it, you can tame it.”
  6. Having identified a thought and a feeling and spoken them to yourself, now identify where in your body you are holding that feeling. All feelings are body sensations. Are you holding it in your chest? Your stomach? Behind your eyes? In your shoulders? This can be a challenge for many of us, but try to identify where in your body you are carrying that feeling.
  7. Return to your focused breathing and inhale deeply, imagining the healing oxygen moving through your body to that particular spot that is holding the feeling. Breathe deeply and gently into that spot. After a while, if you like, extend that breathing throughout your body. Soothe your body with mindful, focused breathing for as long as you wish.
  8. Finally, create a prayer or mantra to speak to yourself as you inhale and exhale. A favorite of mine is “I breathe in peace” on the inhale and “I let go of all tension” on the exhale. Or: “I breathe in God’s love” and “I let go of all anger.” Any prayer or mantra will do. What’s important is that it fits where you are in the moment.

That’s it. The whole process can be done in just a few minutes . . . or for an hour, if you have the time and inclination. It’s not strictly speaking mindfulness meditation (which, I confess, I haven’t had much success with; too much of a “monkey mind,” I’m afraid) but it is immensely therapeutic.

Breathe in peace!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

July 10, 2017 by Rich Malloy

Mental Health 101: How’s that Opsimathic Bucket List Coming Along?

[Mental Health—that which promotes the optimization of mind, body, soul, and interpersonal relationships]

So, what’s on your opsimathic bucket list?

I first learned the word opsimath about a month or so ago from an interview on a national news program. Then, only a few weeks later, I heard it again on Way with Words, the NPR-sponsored gift to word lovers, this time in reference to one’s bucket list. Interpreting the two incidences of a never-before-encountered word in a short space of time as synchronistic, I decided to take it seriously and asked myself, So, what’s on my opsimathic bucket list? What have I always wanted to learn but kept putting off until I had the time? What skill do I regret never having developed?

An opsimath is someone who learns something new late in life, or develops a new talent (or develops an old talent anew) after retirement, or is a committed lifelong learner. The Way with Words reference was in the form of a challenge to go back to school, learn that new language, join a seniors’ yoga class, or pick up that old guitar resting in the back of the closet, unstrummed for the past thirty-five years.

To encounter someone exercising his or her opsimathic opportunities is a delight. I think of George W. Bush picking up a paint brush and easel after leaving the Oval Office after his eight year tenure. Or Ruth Bader Ginsburg, at 84 the oldest member of the Supreme Court, with no plans to retire. Or a woman I recently read about who just entered medical school at Ohio State in her sixties; “I always wanted to be a doctor,” she explained, as if her decision were no more unusual than that of trading in her Honda for a Mazda Miata. Or Bruce Morrow, aka “Cousin Brucie,” who spun the Golden Oldies for me when I was sixteen, my cell phone-size transistor radio serving as the medium for the greatest rock music of all time, and who’s still playing the oldies at the age of eighty-one—eighty-one!—to my continuing delight (he’s now on Sirius Satellite, channel 5, which, of course, didn’t exist in the ’60s, when I was tuned in to him on WABC AM in New York City).

Now that’s opsimathic living!

So, what’s on your opsimathic bucket list? Getting that master’s degree you always wanted? Learning the piano? Mastering Spanish? Becoming a National Parks volunteer guide? Joining an over-60s quidditch team? (OK, just having a little fun with that last one.)

Life is too short to squander old age. Get those opsimathic juices flowing. Just do it.

Mike Brock, PsyD, LPC, is a counselor and life coach in Dallas. In his spare time, he wonders what’s next on his opsimathic bucket list.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

April 30, 2017 by Rich Malloy

Forty years running and where has it gotten me?

“Walk with purpose in life. Do not amble.”
-Marie, age 91, in response to my question, What’s your secret to longevity?

Homo sapiens has been walking with purpose since at least the day, some 100,000 years ago, that our African ancestors decided to pull up roots and head north, eventually spreading through what is now Asia and Europe, and, 10,000 or so years ago, making their way south to my home town, Farmers Branch, Texas. I can imagine Marie’s ancestors leading the march–“Don’t amble! Push forward! Walk with purpose!”

I think of Marie every other morning as I head out for a brisk walk through the streets of Farmers Branch, “the city in a park” as its nickname proclaims, in honor of the multiplicity of parks throughout this small town on the northwest edge of Dallas. And I walk with purpose–no ambling for me!– lest Marie get word that I’ve forgotten her shared wisdom.

Forty years ago I donned a pair of Brooks running shoes to take up the sport that was sweeping America, eventually becoming a 10K junkie and even racking up a few marathons. Forty years and thousands of miles later, I’ve resigned myself to the demands of age and succumbed to the advice of my doctor, who, for some ten years now, has been telling me that he doesn’t recommend running for folks over 60. It took me all those years to finally agree with him.

It was a twinge of pain in my right knee that produced the incentive. Beginning with discomfort, it went quickly to pain, and I thought I’d walk it off for a while, then pick up the pace again. That didn’t happen. Instead, I found that I enjoyed the walking, and the next day I dragged out a walking stick to keep me company and ward off the rare loose dog I might encounter in my pre-sunrise excursions; the opossums, raccoons, coyotes, and bobcats that populate the creek beds of Farmers Branch have never bothered me.

So now I leave my house every other morning and walk for an hour or so, walking stick in hand and looking quite jaunty in my safari shorts (“jaunty”: from the Greek, jaunteia, meaning “having the appearance of a total dork). I’ve found that I much enjoy it. I notice things in my neighborhood far more than when I was running, and I sense a greater freedom of movement. And the risk of a nasty fall is all but obliterated. Life is good.

Keep walking with purpose, Marie. Twenty years from now I hope to be passing on your wisdom to others.

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Mike Brock, LPC


(214) 364-4154
mike@mikebrock.org

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